


The Price of Destiny pt 2

by wrigglesworth59



Series: Tales as Old as Time [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Forgiveness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-16 08:13:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3480851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrigglesworth59/pseuds/wrigglesworth59
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This one is not part of any timeline, it really should have been included in the first of this series but since I had that one sat in my drafts folder for ages it just needed posting before it got deleted...<br/>So the next in this series will be where we start our history timeline :)<br/>Remember to feel free to request events, historic people, specific era's etc and I will work to fit them in :)</p>
    </blockquote>





	The Price of Destiny pt 2

**Author's Note:**

> This one is not part of any timeline, it really should have been included in the first of this series but since I had that one sat in my drafts folder for ages it just needed posting before it got deleted...  
> So the next in this series will be where we start our history timeline :)  
> Remember to feel free to request events, historic people, specific era's etc and I will work to fit them in :)

 

_Tales as Old as Time_

**_The Price Of Destiny pt 2_ **

 

They walked together through the unknown forest, it was weird really Merlin had never traveled so far, only leaving Camelot on patrols or quests with Arthur and the knights, though he knew Morgana had traveled to a few different kingdoms, most of which they now needed to avoid for fear of those wanting vengeance against the dark high priestess, but she wasn't. Dark, that is, she had always just been lost, and Merlin had failed her, turning his back on her before she had ever turned against anyone, but now...

They had not talked much, not about the important stuff, he thinks it's probably best for them to find somewhere to settle down before they broach the many heavy topics that hang unsaid between them. So for now they keep it light while they make their way towards Cornwall, where Morgana originally hailed from.

She has told him all about the place and it is clear from the nostalgic tone of her voice that it is a place she has long missed, in fact the nearer they get to their destination the more she appears like the young woman he had once known and loved.

The hatred has all but bled from her eyes and she looks years younger, light... happy. It's nice. Her joy is almost childish and he feels her excitement like it's contagious, perhaps it is as he can't help the smile from pulling at his lips or the bubble of laughter that escapes as he watches her twirling around while she recounts a tale of her father taking her hunting when she was young. He's glad for her company, actually, after Arthur died... the crushing pain of failure, he hadn't thought he would ever smile again.

It had been so different a loss to all the others he had suffered that he hadn't even felt anything upon learning of Gwaine's passing, a fact that keeps him feeling guilty. Of course afterwards, after Arthur's death had turned into a numb ache rather than overwhelming grief, then he had shed a tear and mourned the loss of one of his other friends. And though he knows that most of these recent deaths can be attributed to Morgana he can't bring himself to hate her or even blame her. He knows it is one of the reasons he was never able to kill her because whatever she may be and whatever she may have done could have all been prevented if he had only let her in all those years ago when she needed him, instead of pushing her away.

Now here he is only a few short weeks later, happy in Morgana's company, and isn't that something he would have scoffed about not so long ago. The thought of he and Morgana being anything other than enemies was a thought that had not occurred to him in so long.

In fact, together, it doesn't seem as though there is anything else. Just the two of them against the world, and that thought just widens his happy smile, almost as though it should have always been this way. 

However this little bubble of isolation cannot last, they could both do with some new clothes before they arrive in Cornwall. He had long since cleaned Arthur's blood from his tunic, it is however becoming hard to ignore the fact that they have both been in the same clothes for a long time now and it wouldn't do to arrive at Morgana's old home smelling almost as rank as Camelot's stables. They will have to leave the comfort of the forest and make their way to the road so that they can stop in the next village to procure supplies.

They found a small clearing in which to bed down for the night, and as he was gathering firewood he wondered about bringing it up to Morgana not really sure how she might act once out of the protection and isolation of the forests, still though they only had a little way to go before they made it to Cornwall and he doubted very much that she would want to turn up in her dirty and torn black rag of a dress.

Building up the fire with his back to Morgana he eventually broached the issue. "We need to head back to the road, I mean... that is if you wish to procure alternative clothing then we will need to find a town."

"You're right Merlin, we can hardly wander into my fathers lands dressed as we are. Alright in the morning we will make our way back to the road and from there we can find a town to stop in." Morgana replied pleasantly.

"Alright. Um, do you think we might..."

"What, Merlin?" The suddenly sharp tone to her voice made him aware that he had not even needed to finish the question, she already knew what he wished to discuss. "Hmm, shall we talk about how I killed your friends, or how you poisoned me? How you lied to me and killed my sister? What Merlin?"

"I'm sorry. ...It's just, I think it may help and it would certainly be better to discuss it while we're alone."

He stopped fiddling with the firewood and instead turned to meet Morgana's enraged green eyes, he knew it was stupid to still feel the guilt of betrayal from so many years ago, especially in light of all they had done to each other since that time, but still poisoning her would always be a memory that caused him pain, the unbearable guilt he felt at what she had become because he had never extended the true hand of friendship when she had needed it. This he believed was his greatest failing, an even worse one than not saving Arthur during the battle of Camlann, if he had trusted his own instincts, his heart, if he had trusted _her_ , then none of this may have come to pass.

They both had blood on their hands, been the cause of death to hundreds of innocents, they truly were the same just they had been on opposite sides and that was his fault. Nothing could change any of that though, but he did feel the need to clear the air if they truly were to start anew.

"I'm so sorry Morgana, I had wanted to tell you as soon as I found out about your magic, but I was told it was best if you didn't know, to protect you from Uther finding out. So I didn't say anything... and then you came to me yourself and I was torn in two my heart telling me one thing and my head another, and so I thought maybe I didn't need to tell you about myself to help you..."

"You took me to the druids." Morgana interrupted a slight smile on her face before it dropped to be replaced with a look of loathing, "Only for Arthur and the knights to come along and kill them all."

"I tried to help you, truly, but then after that and Gwen's father dying your heart had already hardened and your hatred of Uther had grown, I followed you when you went to meet Tauren and then again when Alvarr and Mordred came to Camelot and you took them the crystal, you were already pulling away from us, meeting Morgause in secret, and I didn't know what to do by then you already seemed so set against Camelot."

"Against **Uther** , but you... Arthur... Gwen, you were my friends and I would have died for any one of you!"

"So why did you allow Morgause to use you to cast the sleeping curse over Camelot, if it was only Uther you wished harm, you would not have done what you did, there was no way to reverse such an enchantment... as long as you lived the people of Camelot would forever sleep and what harm had they done you? I had no choice in poisoning you... I meant it when I said that I didn't want to, I didn't but by then I truly had no choice!"

"...Would you believe me if I told you I did not know of Morgause's plan? I was stupid Merlin... I admit that, I blindly accepted to be used to bring about Uther's end but... I swear I had no idea what she had done, I didn't know about the enchantment if I had known that it was down to me well- I'm not saying I would have sacrificed myself but I like to think that given the choice I may have done the right thing... I'm sorry too."

There was silence for awhile, the fire still unlit as darkness closed in, neither noticed or paid attention to this though to busy gazing into each others eyes, neither holding back their emotions, just letting the other read all there was to know of their souls. 

He realised, though admittedly rather belatedly, that if he had given her a chance, given her his trust, she would not have betrayed it, she would have gladly drunk the poison herself to save her friends. He didn't think he could ever have felt worse about all that had happened between the two of them but it seemed he was wrong.

"Merlin," Morgana broke the silence, pulling him from her gaze along with his thoughts, "Your apology means little if you don't learn to forgive yourself, even after that I still chose to walk the path that I did... even after you told me we could find another way. Besides I still have much to apologise for myself, so perhaps we can each learn to forgive ourselves and each other. I want us to have this fresh start Merlin, a chance away from all the war and bloodshed of the last decade."

He looked to her a small lopsided smile on his face, wondering when exactly Morgana had become the wise one, still she did have a point, without forgiving themselves could they truly forgive each other. She seemed so much like her old self now, and without Arthur, without destiny perhaps they could finally just be the people they were, they had always been, before all this started.

 

 

 


End file.
